
"It's a white Christmas this year
Voices singing in cheer
But there's a girl with a sinking feeling.
Where is her hope in this season
Faces passing her by
Holding the joy she could never find
Christmas just reminds her
She's all alone
She's on her own "
About a week ago I found one of my old journals, and this is something I wrote 3 years ago on Christmas Day. I know, it sounds pretty depressing and not at all like Christmas time! But the reality is there are so many people who feel this way over the holidays, and I used to be one of them! Now don't be sad for me because let me tell you, the girl who wrote this is far from the girl I am today!! My heart towards the holidays has been healed this year in more ways than I have words to describe. I write this blog not to remember the pain, but to rejoice in the fact that God is a redeemer of all things!! That He can take the most broken and shattered situations and create beauty out of them.
Christmas for me was always such a painful time. It was a stinging reminder of the things I didn't have..mostly involving family and Christmas traditions. So for most of my life I became what my friends referred to as "the grinch" during this time of year. I avoided the mall or any place with holiday spirit like it was the plague. I openly spoke about how I "hated" Christmas...yup, I said it! I "hated" Christmas. I refused to participate in anything Christmassy unless there was a whole lot of alcohol involved! I was so caught up in what I didn't have, and in some bad memories Christmas time had given me that I never took the time to realize what it was all about.
When God began to heal some of the hurts associated with Christmas for me it opened my eyes up to the beauty of it. For so many of us it's easy to think Christmas has to be this picture perfect Hallmark time with a whole bunch of family,Christmas traditions, laughter&presents. Which for some people it really is, and that's beautiful! But Christmas is so many other things. It's in remembering that God chose to send His son into the world as the ultimate sacrifice for us.That He loved us so much He couldn't bare to be without us and so He paid the way for us!! It's in the beauty of seeing the generosity and hearts of people giving to and helping those who need it, in watching "little miracles" literally being done throughout this time more than any other. Something about this time makes so many hearts open wider, and creates a tenderness that isn't always seen in such major ways throughout the rest of the year. It's remembering the blessings we do have and being thankful for them. Christmas is a time to reflect and remember, and that is a blessing !!!
Now I know that there are many people who feel like I did during Christmas. I really feel like God had me write this because someone out there needed to hear it. I'm sorry that Christmas time has been painful for you. I'm sorry that your heart may have been broken in more ways than you can express and that Christmas is a stinging reminder of that. But I want you to know that there is hope. You are not alone. You are not forgotten. You are seen, wanted, and known by a God who loves you so much more than you could ever grasp. If you're feeling empty this season, let His love fill you up. Spend time with Him, and I promise He will come to comfort you and bring a peace like none other you've known. It's okay to still have a bit of hurt if these times have been painful for you, I know I still do ! But when we step out of seeing Christmas through our painful experiences and step into the joy of this season there is so much beauty to be discovered! I promise you will not be disappointed. My Christmas Day will probably be similar to those I've had the last several years.. But the feeling and experience is different now! There's an excitement in my spirit for it that only God could have placed there. If you open your heart to it He will do the same for you. Let's not harden our hearts to the joy of this season. Let's be people who go after healing, and trust that God will honour that and heal & restore the painful times for us. Let us be joyful in giving, and reaching out in this season as well.
I am praying for you all through these next few days. You are not forgotten! Merry Christmas ! Love & Blessings, Alyssa



