The beauty of Christmas

"It's a white Christmas this year
Voices singing in cheer
But there's a girl with a sinking feeling.
Where is her hope in this season
Faces passing her by
Holding the joy she could never find
Christmas just reminds her
She's all alone
She's on her own "

About a week ago I found one of my old journals, and this is something I wrote 3 years ago on Christmas Day. I know, it sounds pretty depressing and not at all like Christmas time! But the reality is there are so many people who feel this way over the holidays, and I used to be one of them! Now don't be sad for me because let me tell you, the girl who wrote this is far from the girl I am today!! My heart towards the holidays has been healed this year in more ways than I have words to describe. I write this blog not to remember the pain, but to rejoice in the fact that God is a redeemer of all things!! That He can take the most broken and shattered situations and create beauty out of them.

Christmas for me was always such a painful time. It was a stinging reminder of the things I didn't have..mostly involving family and Christmas traditions. So for most of my life I became what my friends referred to as "the grinch" during this time of year. I avoided the mall or any place with holiday spirit like it was the plague. I openly spoke about how I "hated" Christmas...yup, I said it! I "hated" Christmas. I refused to participate in anything Christmassy unless there was a whole lot of alcohol involved! I was so caught up in what I didn't have, and in some bad memories Christmas time had given me that I never took the time to realize what it was all about.

When God began to heal some of the hurts associated with Christmas for me it opened my eyes up to the beauty of it. For so many of us it's easy to think Christmas has to be this picture perfect Hallmark time with a whole bunch of family,Christmas traditions, laughter&presents. Which for some people it really is, and that's beautiful! But Christmas is so many other things. It's in remembering that God chose to send His son into the world as the ultimate sacrifice for us.That He loved us so much He couldn't bare to be without us and so He paid the way for us!! It's in the beauty of seeing the generosity and hearts of people giving to and helping those who need it, in watching "little miracles" literally being done throughout this time more than any other. Something about this time makes so many hearts open wider, and creates a tenderness that isn't always seen in such major ways throughout the rest of the year. It's remembering the blessings we do have and being thankful for them. Christmas is a time to reflect and remember, and that is a blessing !!!

Now I know that there are many people who feel like I did during Christmas. I really feel like God had me write this because someone out there needed to hear it. I'm sorry that Christmas time has been painful for you. I'm sorry that your heart may have been broken in more ways than you can express and that Christmas is a stinging reminder of that. But I want you to know that there is hope. You are not alone. You are not forgotten. You are seen, wanted, and known by a God who loves you so much more than you could ever grasp. If you're feeling empty this season, let His love fill you up. Spend time with Him, and I promise He will come to comfort you and bring a peace like none other you've known. It's okay to still have a bit of hurt if these times have been painful for you, I know I still do ! But when we step out of seeing Christmas through our painful experiences and step into the joy of this season there is so much beauty to be discovered! I promise you will not be disappointed. My Christmas Day will probably be similar to those I've had the last several years.. But the feeling and experience is different now! There's an excitement in my spirit for it that only God could have placed there. If you open your heart to it He will do the same for you. Let's not harden our hearts to the joy of this season. Let's be people who go after healing, and trust that God will honour that and heal & restore the painful times for us. Let us be joyful in giving, and reaching out in this season as well.

I am praying for you all through these next few days. You are not forgotten! Merry Christmas ! Love & Blessings, Alyssa

It's time to face your "giants"

Today as I was sipping my coffee and reading my bible I was brought back to the story of David. While I was reading the story of David and Goliath (Found in 1 Samuel) I had to stop for a bit and process all of the goodness I was reading. This story is one of those that always gets me. David was the underdog of his family. Basically anyone who saw him didn't think he was capable of much, other than tending to the sheep because he was "just a young boy" and the smallest of his siblings. When God sent Samuel to Bethlehem to anoint the one He would one day make king he was in for a surprise. Samuel was sure that the first son of Jesse who stepped before him was the one God had chosen, but God said to Samuel "Looks aren't everything. Don't be impressed with his looks and stature. God judges a person differently than humans do. Men and women look at appearance. but God looks into the heart". (1 Samuel 16:7 msg) This is the God that I serve. He doesn't judge by what other people do,he sees past all of our outward "fronts", past any label that others or you have put on yourself, past the mistakes we have made, past the doubts and fears we so often focus on, and sees all the way into our hearts. One by one Jesse's sons stepped forward to see if they were the one God had chosen to anoint until there were none left. That's right, they didn't even bring David in to be considered, he was still out tending the sheep. When Samuel asked if there was any other sons they finally called for David to come. Although he didn't look "the part" to many people he was who God chose. Let's jump ahead to the battle. So the Philistines and Israelites are at war, and all of a sudden a GIANT (yup, I said a giant ...who says the bible is boring??) steps out from the Philistines camp loaded in his intense armor and weapons and challenges them to send any warrior to fight him. At this point the Israelites are freaking out and basically feeling hopeless and terrified. David's big strong brothers were amongst the group of terrified men who as days kept passing, refused to step up to the giant. David was sent to bring food to his brothers and check in on them and report back what was happening at the battle. He couldn't believe what he saw, all these strong men who were too afraid to step up against Goliath. David returned to King Saul and told him that he wanted to go to war and face the giant. Want to know what he was told? Saul said to him "You are too young and inexperienced. He's been in this fighting business since before you were born" David replied by explaining that with God on his side he has faced all sorts of battles that many had ran away from, and won. Saul decides to let him go and even gives him some soldier armor which David could hardly move in. Instead of loading up on all the armor and what would be "normal" for war , David strips all of that off and grabs a sling and some stones and heads off into battle. Goliath, like everyone else saw David as a joke and even made some taunts and remarks to him, that is up until David kills Goliath with just a slingshot and a rock. David won because He knew that "Greater is He that lives in him, than he that is in the world." That as a son of the most high God, he was highly favored and surrounded by Gods presence and protection; so he was fearless. God loves to use the people that would be the least expected, to do the impossible. David was fully confident in the God he served. He knew without a doubt that with God on his side there was no way he was going to loose. Reading this story I think about all the big "giants" in my life. Those things like fear, insecurity, doubt, anxiety, etc that often try to stand in the way of me walking out my God given destiny. These are things that I many times look at and can be overwhelmed and distracted by. Hearing David's story is a reminder to me that I need to focus on the God I serve, and not the attacks of the enemy. If I truly believe God is who He says and has many times proven He is than how can I let any of these things stand in my way. We need to know that we are children of God, who He has given all authority and power to. That when we walk out the life God has called us to we cause MASSIVE movements in the heavenlies and on earth. We were born to change the world, but so often can forget that because the enemy knows where to attack us. Decide today that your purpose, the reason you were placed on this earth is FAR too important to let any "giant" stand in the way. Trust the One who is leading you and guiding your steps. He has anointed and appointed you for such a time as this.. Love & Blessings, Alyssa

choose love !

Dear beautiful sisters&brothers in Christ,


Please understand I am writing this to you out of a place of love, and not condemnation!! This is just something that is on my heart today, and I feel like it needs to be discussed. Why are we SO quick to judge each other? It really breaks my heart, and I know it breaks the Fathers heart too!! I received a message this morning from someone who basically had seen pictures and was assuming I got wasted last night because I got dressed up with my friends and celebrated St.Pattys day. I realize a lot of people do, but because I dressed up (and for those of you who know me, let’s face it! I’ll get dressed up and go crazy for any occasion haha, that’s just my personality) people assume the worst. Why is it as Christians that our mind jumps to a place of judging each other? I am not trying to say shame on you, your horrible Christian, because there are moments where I’ve judged and I’ve assumed the worst, and it’s something God and I am working on. I am bringing this up so we can all bring this hidden sin to the surface and say “okay, I’m going to choose to love”. Every morning I constantly am asking God to help renew my mind and heart, and specifically to help me not judge, and seriously it’s been a huge help for me! God calls us to love each other, and to NOT judge.

In james 4:11-12 the message version it says “Don't bad-mouth each other, friends. It's God's Word, his Message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You're supposed to be honoring the Message, not writing graffiti all over it. God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others?” I LOVE THIS VERSE !! haha. God’s heart, one of His two most emphasized commandments was for us to love each other, but judgement,whether you try to justify it or not, is NOT love – seriously nothing you could try to come up with will justify judging someone else. Sometimes I wonder if we are so quick to judge because we know we have crap in our lives we still need to take to the feet of Jesus and work on, and it just seems easier and makes us feel better to point out other peoples struggles, or to even assume the worst of others. I've seen Christians attack each other, and pick at every little thing someone else does, and try to use scripture to justify it! It breaks my heart, and I do have a bit of just anger when I hear about this (the kind Jesus had when He flipped tables when He was justly angered by things). It's so sad that at times Christians are more harsh and judgmental than people who don't know Christs love. I've heard stories of people literally searching to find an email, or facebook account to attack someone after they've posted opinionated blogs or comments that some Christians didn't agree with. We should be focusing on what we all have in common- Jesus, instead of small differences.

There are so many beautifully stated verses about this in the bible. God was passionate about making this clear to us, because He knows the enemy’s tactics and that satan would love NOTHING MORE than to see the body judging, and hurting each other. Of course the enemy wants to see brokenness, and separation in the body so that we aren’t there encouraging and helping each other because he knows a family that stands together, encourages, loves unconditionally, and forgives can cause some serious power and breakthrough in the Kingdom, and spiritual realm! Let’s fight to get out of our judgemental mindsets and come before the feet of Jesus and ask for help! We can’t do it alone, and God knows that, and is ready and willing to help you! Next time you see someone do something, or see a picture and assume the worst and a judgemental thought comes into your mind start fighting it!! God has given us a book of weapons which is His word. He wants us to use the words and promises He has given us to help transform and renew our minds with, so let’s use it. Watch the world see a difference when you choose love, when you refuse to talk badly about someone ! We will never get anywhere by judging and hating, but LOVE , love can move mountains, love can change hearts, and love speaks volumes.

Here are some great verses about this in the bible, and there are many more you can look into!
Ephesians 4:29 - Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen

Matthew 7:1-5 (the msg version) "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.”

Galatians 5:14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

So where do we go from here you ask? Well, let’s get real with God, because He already knows everything we think and do, and say help!! Start looking for verses about loving and not condemning others, and watch your mind be changed. It’s a process, so don’t think you’ll never be tempted to judge, or speak a bad word about someone, or assume the worst! God will be patient with you, and will help you through this process.

I’ll leave you all with a quote by a beautiful woman – mother Theresa “ If you judge people, you have no time to love them”

Peace, love and blessings :) !
I’m rooting for all of you!!
Alyssa

a change is coming

How far would you go?

How much would you give up to see God move?

And are you ready? Because this is the time !!


There is a movement taking place in our generation, and even more to come !! My question is are you willing to give all you have to God, and hop on the boat ? Because the world offers you what seems like great and fun things, but friends, what is to come is going to be more than what your wildest dreams could ever imagine !!!! But you have a choice to make.

This weekend a man who had some things the world offered, and could even do some things he thought were great and powerful through other sources than God made one small decision...but first needed to ask himself ,were those things worth giving up what God had? He carried a voodoo doll, and a scientology symbol around with him wherever he went...these were his "good luck" charms. The struggle to throw them away and never carry them with him again was a battle that took a lot longer than I thought it would. I mean think about it....this world has so many things that we look at, and can be SO entising. They make you feel good for a time, but always land you in a darker place than before. But for some reason we always want to hang onto these things, to cling to them. But what if I told you there's more? What if I told you that if you trust, that you could see and be a part of amazing things!! But first, you need to lay aside those things that pull and hold on you.

After a bit of a tug of war within himself, this man chose light! He chose to throw away , even tried to burn, these things he held onto for so long, so that He could experience light in his life. Now i'm not sure where this man went after we spent an hour talking to him, showing Gods love to him, and praying with him. But i know this ... I am never discouraged when I pray for or share with people Gods love. This is because regardless of if I see anything happening, seeds are planted, and even a glimpse of Gods love can change a heart !! I know this, because a glimpse is all it took for me ! I hope you all know i'm not just saying he needed to let go of these two just physical random objects !! It was more than that, it's what they represented, and the emotional, spiritual, and mental grips that were on his life, that these two small things helped to represent !


Lately my hearts cry have been these two things :

1. I want to see others as Jesus sees them. It's so easy to judge people, or to gossip or to treat others disrespectfully, but those things hurt, they damage people, and are not things I want to be known for. So daily my prayer has been, God just let me see them how You do, because then I can just love on a totally different level !! I just want to love people like God does, because His love is the most powerful thing we have, we should do everything with His love.

2. I just want people to see God in me. When I speak, when I do things I don't want people saying " oh man look at what she said, or what she's doing" I want them to think " wow, look at what God is doing" ...


I'm seeing it already, a movement of our generation who is tired of religious things, tired of the God box so many put Him in, and tired of the mundane. We are a generation who wants more, who NEEDS more.

LOVE can move mountains

LOVE can change hearts

LOVE can bring freedom

LOVE can change our generation


...ONLY GODS LOVE

the beauty of grace

ok so here i am writing again..wow, can't believe this ! haha

What I am blogging about today is something near and dear to my heart ! It is something I struggle with...

today I'm blogging about shame ! This is a sensitive issue for me because it is one of the things I have battled my whole life, and in a different way since really living for God. I have struggled with believing truths God has spoken over me whether it be from truths in His word (aka the bible !) or truths that He has had other people speak to me in the last few months! My brain would go under this crazy attack anytime someone spoke something positive over my life, and I would think "ok this is too good to be true..." , or " ya right im going to do any of that...if you only knew the real me", or "why would God ever use me?" , and the list goes ON AND ON ! But He has been moving me into a place lately of realizing it has nothing to do with who I am, and everything to do with who HE is ! I mean really, look at the bible ! I actually love going through the bible and seeing how God uses some of the least likely people to live out some of the biggest callings!! I think God even loves to use the people that will shock others because it shows how big He is ! I am learning to KNOW that I was born "for such a time as this" ! That He really has a purpose for my life, and something bigger than I can imagine ! I just need to trust Him !

Now this past week was a rough one for me ! I am currently going through two books that have been bringing ALOT of things up ! These things are hurts from my past, and the shame of things I have done. I need to bring up these things, in order to give them over to God , let Him heal me, and move forward into victory and to what He is going to do in my life !! But this week it took a toll on me, and I did some things I'm not so proud of. Right away the shame started to rush in again, and I started thinking OH MAN , I have ruined it all ! There we go, I proved everyone who thought i'd fail RIGHT . I will never be able to do what God has called me to do anymore, and I'm pretty sure God is so mad at me right now, that it's going to take a lot to get back to where I was at !

Then it dawned on me my friends.... I did not surprise God by what happened! He knew this would all go down the day He stepped into my life...He knew I was going to make those decisions the days He spoke things to me, and the days He had other people speak things over me. He was not shocked by this ! So I decided instead of thinking God was incredibly angry at me, I was going toask Him myself how He felt... and let me tell you, He was not angry, or hateful ! He was compassionate and forgiving ! Of course I am not trying to down play sinning ! God hates sin, but He loves us !! Once we ask for forgiveness it's forgotten, and gone ! This mistake didn't change what He had planned for me, and didn't change His love for me ! Lets just say grace sure hit hard for me in that moment of brokeness at His feet !

A few days later I read an incredible quote by Max Lucado, that says " there is more love in God's heart , than there is sin in yours. ALWAYS" . MAAAANNN....what amazing words!

So friends, just remember than everyday is a new day ! every moment is a new moment ! God is a forgiving and gracious God ! He won't let more temptation than you can handle come your way, but if you fall, know He isn't up there thinking OH man, now what am I going to do ? He/She sinned !! He's up there with His arms wide open saying come to me ! let me forgive you, and hold you, and lets get back out there ! PLEASE don't think I am trying to say " yaaaa, keep on sinning and just think it's ok , God will forgive me anyways, and purposly go about it ! But know that if it does happen where you make a mistake..it is NOT the end of the road. God already knew it was going to happen, so ask for forgiveness, move forward, and keep pressing into Him !

Peace , Love & Blessings !
Alyssa

a whole new meaning to let go and let God..

So God has been rocking my world in so many ways lately !! haha I feel like even saying that would be an understatement of what has been going on in my life. Last weekend I experienced some freedom and broke through a lot of walls! I won’t get into detail on exactly how things all happened, but basically I am learning to hear Gods voice more clearly than ever. As the weekend started I had my expectations and ideas on what God was going to do it, and how He would do it…and boy was I SO very wrong !! haha One of the most important lessons I think I learnt was to be still…be quiet…and listen to what God is trying to tell me. I feel like on some points I sort of “ missed the ball “ on what God wanted to do, because I was so caught up in how I thought things should go, because sometimes I think I know best…once again, SO wrong !! God had some creative ways of getting my attention, but once I would stop trying to control things, He would step in and give exactly what my heart needed, which was way better than what I had originally wanted!! See growing up my life was often out of control… I didn’t have much of a say in who did what to me, or what I would come home to everyday, etc. So for a long time anything I could control I would try to, and it would be to an extreme !! So within the first few months of my relationship with God, I’ve tried to do that whole controlling things one too many times. What I did learn however was although it’s scary, and doesn’t feel safe for me to not have control in situations , God is a good God , and He isn’t going to do anything that I’m not ready for…He knows my heart! Once I was willing to loosen my grasp on what I wanted to happen that weekend, God took over, and moved in ways I never imagined possible. I’m talking like whole new levels of freedom, and of healing !!

Another big thing that happened for me that weekend was new levels of worship. Ok so by the end of the weekend I started becoming free in ways I had always wanted to be able to worship, but was afraid to, or felt weird about. So before church Sunday morning satan was flooding my mind from the moment I got up, to the point that I almost didn’t want to go to church because I didn’t feel like I’d be able to even worship. After singing the first song and really not feeling anything I started to get mad….like full our feisty Alyssa mad !!! I was mad at satan…like who does he think he is trying to get into my head, and make me feel the way I was, and why was I letting him. So I started to repeat over and over again “ I don’t care what my flesh feels right now, my soul is still gonna worship”. As I continued to do that I was also thinking hey, satan has NO authority over my thoughts, so he has no right to be feeding me these lies…I’m the child of the most high King. So pretty much the first half of worship for me was like worship warfare!! I was sick and tired of letting satan the king of lies by the way…get into my head. Also, I’m not going to let how I feel hinder me worshiping God either !! It’s not about how my flesh feels, my soul still can be in worship. SO anyways, after that God just started taking me to awesome places with Him…and provided such a crazy experience. I honestly have never felt His embrace so strongly in my life!! He is SO good to us!!


So basically my challenge for all of you is this : think about the things you try to control in your life, then start to ask God to take those things from you, and show you what He wants to do in those areas. And second, even when your flesh is tired, stressed, anxious, hurt, etc ,refuse to let your feelings control you, and let your soul cry out and worship God !!


Peace, Love & Blessings
Alyssa

Don't be afraid of your "scars" !!

Well , I feel like I have been blogging way more than I ever thought I would be (and I haven't even been blogging that much...haha) I think that sometimes I get nervous because I've never been good with writing out my ideas! Now talking, I could do for days !! But writing is not exactly my strongest suit ! haha. But God is teaching me that if He gives me something to write, it doesn't matter how good I think it sounds,or what my punctuation is like , or the several spelling errors i'm sure you can find while reading my blog!! But that if He has put something on my heart to write about, it is for a reason, so I need to stop second guessing it !

Today my blog has been inspired by a twitter quote that I read by Louie Gigglio. In this quote he says :
Don't try to hide your scars. Jesus still has His. #byHiswoundswearehealed


This tweet just got me thinking about how for years before I ever really encountered God, I had tried going to churches, and "Christian" groups in my city. While in these groups I often felt alone and as though I was this horrible and messy girl in a room full of what seemed to be "perfect" people. I am in no way trying to bash anyone, please don't think that, because many of these people are great !! but they too had been raised to as Louie states "Hide their scars". And because they were in such desperate need to hide theirs, they often pointed out mine. This left me feeling as though God couldn't love me, or use me because I had been down such messy roads. But this is not the case my friends !! I am learning daily that God is absolutley INCREDIBLE, WONDERFUL, ETC ETC ETC !And one thing that makes Him so amazing is He can take those "scars" we have acquired in our lifetime from things we may have done, or things that may have been done to us, and use it to show His glory through us! These "scars" can become the very things God uses for our callings in life, and to reach others who may have had similar experiences, and could have felt as though there was no hope for them.

Something else, besides Louie's twitter quote that had been on my heart recently also helped inspired this blog.For those of you who may not know, I started really living for God about four months ago, but before that my life consisted of a lot of not so wonderful experiences some choices I made, but some things which were also done to me that created my downward spiral!! So basically satan was trying to bring me down, and bring in those shameful thoughts by having people in my life who tried to constantly remind me of the old me, and all the not so wonderful things I had done. THEN to top it off, I had been involved in a movie filmed last December where I played a club-goer on drugs and was a featured extra for the scenes I was in, aka you get to see me on camera close up doing some inappropriate dance moves, and wearing some not so modest dresses!! I started battling with the thoughts that began to rush in after seeing a trailer for this movie, and being able to point myself out in the background. I started to worry about what my new Christian friends might think about this, and about all the men who would be going to theatres and seeing me in those not so modest outfits, and the fact that it could cause minds to wander, etc etc etc ! But some very good friends of mine helped to snap me out of that mind set, and instead see how this can just add even more to my testimony of where I have been , to where God has taken me!!

So all this said and done, I am learning that it is ok to let some of our guards down, as well as to be real about where God has taken us from, and what He has healed us from!! Now I'm not saying you need to share every single intimate detail about your life with everyone you meet!! But I am saying be open to what God wants to do through you. We all have our stories, and the great thing about God is He can use you regardless of your past...So lets not be afraid of those "scars" of our lives, but lets be excited about how God can use these things, and don't let the shame satan tries to use from these experiences hinder the great things God can do through you !

Peace, Love & Blessings

Alyssa